Sometimes we get lost in our own language. Despite technology, the world struggles to comprehend itself. Computers talk across numerous platforms. But humans have to make a concerted effort to understand each other’s lexicon. English is especially difficult because it’s loaded with social slang that helps differentiate us. Case in point: it’s English but different.
At half ten on Saturday I was chuffed. I had skived off and was heading to a car boot sale with a bag of shrapnel and the radio blasting. Before you know it, Elton and I were singing “Hold me closer, Tony Danza…count the headlights on the highway…” Okay, Mondegreen aside, it was elevenses, so I stopped for a sarnie.
As I ate, I thought of my old friend with deipnophobia. Her party went pear-shaped when everyone chundered. Now she can’t bear all the argy-bargy and tarradiddle at mealtime. I think it’s kakorraphiophobia. Reminds me. I should tweet her. Octothorpe DontInviteMe. By the way, the car boot sale was a damp squid. Plus a bird left a surprise on my car bonnet.
You see what I mean? Good thing we can all understand a smile and a laugh.
I know you’re busy. Here’s a quick word look-up if you like:
| Half ten |  |
10:30 |
| Chuffed | Excited, happy | |
| Skived off | Ditched (work, school, chores) | |
| Car boot sale | Like a garage or yard sale, but out of car trunks | |
| Shrapnel | Loose change | |
| Mondegreen | Misquoted phrase from misheard lyrics. It came from the song Earl O’Moray: “They slew the Earl and laid him on the green” was interpreted as “They slew the Earl and Lady Mondegreen.” | |
| Elevenses | Snack time, tea time | |
| Sarnie | Sandwich | |
| Deipnophobia* | Morbid fear of dinner parties | |
| Went pear-shaped | Gone wrong; failed | |
| Chundered | Vomited | |
| Argy-Bargy | Arguments | |
| Taradiddle | Pretentious nonsense | |
| Kakorraphiophobia* | Abnormal fear of failure or defeat | |
| Octothorpe | # | |
| Damp squid | Disappointment | |
| Car bonnet | Hood |
*I threw those in just for fun. Not sorry.
